Last night Ruben and I were playing around the house while we were waiting for the braai-fire to be ready. We found a balloon and began kicking it around the house. I thought of a great game. I suggested we start at the one end of the kitchen and then kick the balloon and see how many kicks it required to get it to hit the Kitchen door.
I started: one, two, THREE!!!!! I took three kicks to get the balloon across the kitchen.
Then it was Ruben’s turn. He got himself into position and then ran up and kicked the balloon. But he didn’t stop running. He continued to run after the balloon, kicking it again before it had stopped moving… (clearly against the rules of the game!!!) He kicked/shepherded the balloon across the kitchen whilst shouting ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR-FIVE-NINE!!!!! By this stage he had lost control of the balloon and had run past it. He turned around and began kicking it back towards me. Clearly he hadn’t understood the important goal of the game: getting the balloon to hit the kitchen door.
I tried again: put the balloon down for him, explained the purpose and goals of the game. Reminded him that the previous World Record was just 3 kicks – set by me just a few moments earlier… but things went pretty similarly to his first attempt. ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR-FIVE-ELEVEN-EIGHT-NINE…
He was loving his game of kicking the balloon. Just Kicking, because it was Fun.
Seems he hasn’t quite grasped the incredible importance of goals in life yet… but I’m sure with enough pressure, constant encouragement and a lot of coaching he’ll turn out properly goal-oriented like me!
6 comments:
how to pass your 3 on ...
yup, just look where goals have got the three of us (Aiden, you and I)...
I hope I rightly identified the sarcasm in your post...? One always has to check these things.
Personally, I've never ever understood goals and visions and how they're helpful to anyone. I understand gut and instinct, and doing what feels right in the moment.
ha! glad you mentioned the hint of sarcasm - just in case some reader who doesn't know me, thought I was being serious. Nope. Sorry that i resorted to sarcasm, but it seemed funny to me.
I do think that there is an elementof our soceity that doesn't critique the power of expectations and goal-driven patterns at all. These are the taken-for-granteds of our time.
So, in the light of that, I was fascinated by your thoughts about gut and instinct. you have "never understood goals and visions and how they're helpful to anyone"! Wow - that's a stick in the eye of most Leadership Trainers I know...
another taken-for-granted that I'm interested to hear your thoughts on Mike, is "building self-esteem is always a good thing"...
He did have a goal, though. His goal was the kick the ball and have fun.
His goal just didn't match your goal, but that doesn't mean he didn't have one!
thanks so much for your comments. I think you make a fair point Amber. just kicking a balloon (to see how it flies) is a goal, of a sort. I think the thing that I might want to explore is whether there is an essential difference (in terms of goal-orientedness) between the activity I was engaging in, and what my son was busy doing.
somehow I sense that wonder and enjoyment are unselfish "goals" until they become tarnished by the "purpose-driven" mentality that commands so much of responsible adult life. It's funny, that the phrase I just used (purpose-driven) doesn't come from "the world" (meaning secular world) but rather from a very influential religious author...
so Worship becomes a "journey" (with an implied destination) rather than a surrender to the moment and to wonder.
and "Discipleship" (a common phrase in the community I belong to) becomes about "fixing" people so that they behave properly, rather than a deep learning of the values that will bring lasting transformation and a compassionate life.
and Spirituality is undertaken as an activity - one of the many things that one does, like going to the gym, rather than a comprehensive vision of all of life (including going to the gym) that leads to contentment...
the freedom to stop wanting
the freedom to be present
the freedom to just kick a ball on a field (or in a kitchen) without the need for goal-posts...
thanks so much for engaging me on this topic!!! I really like what is emerging...
Oh, and Aiden
you're enjoying using that "3" Label against me....
:)
Post a Comment